Thursday, October 15, 2009

Who is a Hyderabadi?

Among Males: Who don't hesitate to use words like"Baigan ke Baal"

Among Females: Soon after delivering their first baby they start propagating "hamara kya hai.. huwa gaya"

Both genders cannot complete a sentense without

"Nakko, Hau, Hallu, Kaiku and Kate"

Daily..

• He goes to Gas Station to fill and says: "Single Oil,Paanch Point Dalo"

• He says ("abbi aataun") and vanishes for couple of hours or not come back at all.

• Sleeps around 1 am and wakes only after 9:30 am

• He drinks half cup tea atleast 6 times

• Buys only one Gold Flake cigarette


Now coming to Food..

• If they do not eat rice at least once a day they will die.(Nothing other than Rice is considered as a meal)

• For them the only good dishes on earth are: Hyderabadi Biryani, Nahari, Haleem, Marag, Khatti Dal, Tamaton ka Sherwa, Bhendi ka Sherwa, dhai ki kadi, palak ki bhaji, gawar ki phalli, alu baingan, alu keema methi, khagina, khichdi, pyaz ka anda, papad, boti ka saalan, khadi dal, murgh ka khorma, bagara khana dalcha, Til ka Khatta, mirchiyan bhajiye, khubani ka mittha, kaddu ki kheer and fruite salad.

• They cannot digest or even praise: North indian, South indian, Lebanese, Italian, Arabic, Continental etc.


New Generation (males)

• They consider "Kalyani Biryani as Hyderabadi Biryani" and atleast once in a week he will visit "masha-allah, bismillah, and other restaurants – kisi na kisi ku to jaate.

• 2 out of 3 are "Sharukh, Amir, Salman, or Sanjay

• He feels offended if someone looks at him (ghoorra Kaiku miya?)

• They only want to become an "engineer, doctor, MCA or MBA"

• For most of them US Visa is a dream and Saudi visa a blessing.

• Most of the Boys spends their precious time at "gali ke nukkard, CafĂ©, girls college, playing billiards, riding bikes, chatting on internet, teasing girls, changing mobile phones and spend their parents hard earned money.


New Generation (females)

• If she is not studying at "St. Anns or Villa Mary" then she is not studying at all, Shadan College is a compromise.

• Stanley is the only school and college for girls from Old City.

• Begum's is the most preferred beauty parlour.

• Most of them cannot live without going to "Tutorial"

• Most of them would not like to put on the Sharara for the second time. Har shadi me naya sharara chahiye.

• Most of them say "main kapde Neeru's our Meena bazaar se hi leti hoon"

• They are obsessed by Hindi Film Actresses.


Finding a Match

• All most all the cases are dealt by "Marriage Bureau"

• A team of one dozen go to see the girl (to eat and drink: pastries, bananas, mixture, fruit biscuits, etc)

• When they return home after seeing the girl, someone from the family says "badi se manjhli ke aank naak ache hai"

• If they want to reject they say "Ladki ka khad kam hai. Hamare bache ki height achhi hai (5.6)

• They say "Ladke ku Family Visa bhi hai" (even if he makes 1600 riyals).

• They say Ladke ka Sheikh (kafil) bahut acha hai tankha badatoun bola shadi ke bad.

• All matrimonial ads mention boys salary in "rupees" so that the amount looks big.


Finding a Match

• All most all ads say "ladki soum our sala ki paband hai'

• All matrimonial ads. Say "shadi mein jaldi hai, ladki ke bhai bahar se aye huwe hain"

• Advertisements some times clearly mention: "Ladke ku karobar bhi laga ke denge" or "Azad visa bhi denge" or "ladki ke naam pe jayezaad hain (200 gaz ka plot, makan ya phir flat"

• Hyderabadi parents only look for: US/Canadian immigrants or Gulf settled – Deen ki nisbat pe rishte karne wale aaj kal bahut kam milenge.

• Shadi ke mamle me "Bherd Chaal Chalte" jo jaisa kara waise sab follow karte"


Finally Shadi Ke Din

• Dinner invitation is known as "ration card" – if there is no dinner, a lot of them are disappointed, they say "kya jate miya auto ka kiraya dal ke, kheench nai hai"

• Many still take "Jode Ki Rakham" (cash)

• If you ask Dulhe Raja, he will say "mere ku nai maloom badoun me kya baat huwi, main to nakko bola sheikh"

• These days "Nikaah" takes place at Masjid, but the jahez (dowry) reaches groom's home late night when neighbours are deep in sleep.

• Men wear sherwani on "shadi ke din" and suit on "Valime ke din"(they think sherwani is the only dress for "Shadi", and suit for "valima dinner").


Finally Shadi Ke Din

• Invitations clearly mention that nikaah is at 7 pm but dulhe raaja arrives at 8:30, 9:00. 9:30.

• Soon after nikah, people are desperately waiting for some one to announce "aaiye" – (call for dinner) because on his way to the function hall he will stop at a cool drink store and drinks 7up or pepsi (bhook khulne) and the moment he hears the call "aaiye he jumps like hungry dog.

• They are crazy about "Chicken" – puri dish undal leta mauka milte hi. Doosre guest ka khyaal nahi karta.

• Pehle haleem khaleta, phir chicken, phir biryani, phir chicken, phir ublahuwa anda, phir chicken, phir chicken, and again chicken, phir ek katora furit salad, phir kaddu ki kheer, phir qubani ka meeta, and after eating all this he puts some "Dahi ki chatni in his palm" and starts licking it.

• When he is done with food, he needs a cigarette or gutka and then the discussion on the quality of food starts.

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